| paleface [sys=PS1; cat=Beat_em_up; loc=JPN] |
|Very poorly done 2D beat-'em-up. It feels something like an old arcade port with the tall non-SD characters and shallow color palette, not to mention the character selection interface, but it plays at about five frames per second. You can use a special attack (takes off a large chunk of life) that can, for at least one of the three or so characters, grind the game to a virtual standstill. I'm not quite sure what the developers were thinking here but this is not really fun and the slug-like movement speed only exacerbates the problem and the poorly-drawn characters aren't really capable of satisfying attacks.|
It's true that the girl who hits people in the nuts with a polo mallet is kind of entertaining, as is beating up goons named "VANDAMME" and "FREDDY" (complete with hockey mask), but only for a short time before the garish graphics and hideously slow display become painful to watch.
|Well, for some reason or other I played this two-player all the way through. It was semi-amusing, but about halfway through I was really wishing it was going to end. The framerate gets pretty bad at times with two players, and you can also hit each other with guns that you pick up, which is frustrating.|
The game balance is somewhat wacky: we cruised along through several stages, actually gaining health (you can grow a second layer on your health meter by getting food pickup items), but then a certain boss came along whose hits took of, like, half of our health in a single shot.
In a curious twist, you will find some powerups that apparently only certain characters can use. For instance, we had the two younger characters, and when we found a can of beer on the back of a giant whale (don't ask) and tried to pick it up, a big "ADULT ONLY" word sign popped up in front of the can. Educational!
The moves are goofy. The girl with the polo mallet can't double-tap-run, apparently, although the smaller of the two guys can. And that guy, when he jump-kicks someone, automatically springs off for a follow-up jump-kick in the opposite direction--which is usually completely worthless and even undesirable, because chances are your opponents are in front of you, not behind you. Once a took out a flying subboss sort of automatically when I jump-kicked him and he then proceeded to fly back and forth beneath each of my automatic reflect-kicks until he died, but that was really the only time where that annoying tendency came in handy.
Just to be clear: we were playing it out of a sort of perverse desier to see how bad it was, and then to finish the darn thing once and for all--we definitely weren't playing it because we thought it was awesome.