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Sixth Highest Shelf Vittles: 9.17.98-10.17.98

  • Back to Stale Vittles
  • 10/17

    • First, if ya didn't see th' BIG NEWS yesterday scroll right down th' page an' check it out, I kin hear yer jaw droppin' already. Or mebbe that's jus' echoes of my own... can we say, "Outlaws Unlimited"? =j

    • Well he hung up his guns an' took ta th' synthesizer; Hong Kong's fabled gunslinger, th' Doominator has sent me another musical composition. This one's called Max & Lancelot (1.97 MB) an' it's got a lil' story ta set th' scene:

      The day has came. Max decided to journey again, and this time, he may not come back anymore. The journey is the one which may end his life. He did not told his best friend, Lancelot about his departing. On the noon, he rode away with only a harmonica and little supply with him.
       
      Sunset, the famous killer Lancelot has returned to the town, only to found Max missing. Asking and threating everybody in the town where Max went to, the bartender, a good friend of both of them, informed what he witnessed. Grabbed some wines and food, Lancelot heads off to the horse.
       
      Bartender shouted "Why would you follow? You may got killed! It doesn't worth to follow a freak like him even he's your friend!".
       
      Lancelot turned back and shouted "You may have alot of friends, I DON"T!".
       
      He rode on the full speed and whistling all the way to the direction of Max.
       
      Max riding along the sunset, still playing his harmonica... not having a rest in the night. So do Lancelot.
       
      In the next morning, Lancelot caught Max up.... and hit him for not telling his trip. They both laughed, and then sang together. Together they rode, together they travelled to the destiny.
       
      "I won't let you die alone, Max".

      Man, ya know Doomy ain't kiddin' around here, he's gettin' pretty darn good! Very reminiscent of th' Ennio Morricone's famous soundtracks from Sergio Leone's "spaghetti" westerns (so called because they were filmed in Italy with Italian actors and crews) that LEC ripped directly off of for Outlaws -- I'm serious, if ya listen to th' music in some of th' movies, especially th' final anthem of "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" you'll hear that LEC copied Morricone note for howling note!

      Anyhow back ta th' topic at hand, Doomy's mp3 is all his own stuff, not a rip off by any means. While it DOES remind one of the spaghetti western soundtracks, even has a synthesized whistling sound, it's got a flavor all its own; mebbe a "chow mein" western? Mmm-Mmm! :d

      [Use this lil' file ta unscramble th' mp3 if it sounds all garbled when ya play it.]

    • It's always a big day when Slater's Dog has a new map ta show -- today he sent me his reworkin' of Twobitt's Rustler's Canyon 2, Rustler's Canyon 3, made with Twobitt's blessing.

      Now "Rustler's Canyon 2" was a pretty darn good map with an inventive layout an' nice flow. Well Slater's taken it an totally redone it ta give it that incredibly smooth shine that damn well makes him th' finest LawMaker in th' West or anywhere! Think I'm kiddin'? Well see fer yerself: compare a shot of v.2 with a shot of v.3. Dog's texture selection is jus' downright incredibly drop-dead gorgeous! Oh my! This goes right down on my burgeoning "To Host" list...

      [Oh incidently there was a ripped-off version of this map goin' around, prob'ly with th' filename "RsCnyn3.zip" -- notice th' extra "n". DON'T use that one, it's an unfinished beta that some lame-O leaked. ;P]

    • I can't host this weekend, but I DID get 11 hours of overtime chalked up today, which pretty much pays fer my next video card upgrade. ;) Speakin' of which, I got my hands on a 3dfx reference Banshee board today an' got ta use it extensively.

      First off it's a pretty small card, though not as small as th' TNTs I've seen. This was th' AGP version an' it installed without a hitch, even with havin' ta flash th' card BIOS it went smoothly an' worked great th' first time.

      2D is very fast and attractive, though I did notice that ugly striped junk on large jpgs viewed in IE 4. Ick! A driver issue I imagine they'll straighten out soon, an' can be worked around anyhow now -- lines only appear when scrolling to the side on a large image.

      3D is very very fast. MUCH faster than th' i740 I had in th' same computer before. In fact I've been seein' a lot of new cards lately, so why don't I jus' do a lil' video card rundown:

      • Old Cards
      • 3dfx Voodoo
        ~$60. 3D only. Beginning to show it's age, still runs most games pretty darn well. Especially good on slower CPUs (like p133 or lower) where Voodoo2 or other cards won't really give you much improvement anyhow. 3dfx Glide compatible (needed for Outlaws).
      • 3dfx Voodoo 2
        ~$120. 3D only but incredibly fast and still the standard. Has been expensive but prices are dropping steeply. 3dfx Glide compatible.
      • nVidia Riva 128
        ~$80. Ugly, not as fast as Voodoo on slower systems and in many games. Would be an okay value, but...
      • Intel i740
        ~$50. Cheaper than a Riva, good 2D, GREAT 3D image quality and good speed. A nice deal, or was until the latest generation of cards...

      • New Cards
      • Matrox G200
        ~$100. The fastest, highest quality 2D there is. 3D is also very attractive but not much faster than the Voodoo 1's.
      • S3 Savage 3D
        ~$90. Saw one an' it ran fast but looked like hell. Textures hashed, weird neon fog where there shouldn't have been ANY... avoid, at least until driver issues are straightened out (an' it looks like that'll be a while).
      • nVidia TNT
        ~$150. Faster than a Voodoo2 on CPUs like a p400+. Incredible image quality and speed, both 2D and 3D. Wow. Most expensive but definitely top of the line.
      • 3dfx Banshee
        ~$90. Very nice 2D, 3D is fast but image quality is still that of the original Voodoo -- good but no longer great. BUT cheaper than a TNT and just as fast on lower-end systems, also 3dfx Glide compatible, faster than a Voodoo2 in most games although yet to be seen if works okay with Outlaws.*

      So if yer an Outlaw wishin' ta upgrade ya got a few choices:

      • If ya got shiny new, super fast system I'd go with a TNT an' hold on ta yer Voodoo (1) card fer Outlaws play. You'll be takin' up an extra PCI slot still fer th' Voodoo, if that's a hassle read on...
      • If ya already got a Voodoo2 card ya might wanna go with a G200 fer great 2D an' wait fer th' next generation of 2D/3D cards 'cause yer pretty well off right now.
      • If ya got an old system (like under a p166) ya might as well jus' stick with a Voodoo card unless yer willin' ta upgrade yer CPU. Fer Outlaws yer still sittin' pretty anyhow. :)
      • If ya got somethin' like a p166 to a p2 300 ya could go with a Banshee an' get great 2D an' th' fastest Outlaws play money kin buy* -- an' relatively little money, too!
      • If ya got a shiny new super fast CPU but still want th' best Outlaws play,* go with a Banshee. Of course th' ideal setup right now would be a TNT/Voodoo2 combo, but that's kinda pricey. If ya got money ta burn, though...

      * Now those last two items are what I THINK will be th' case, BUT I have not yet tested Outlaws on th' Banshee so HOLD OFF orderin' one 'til tomorrow, 'cause tomorrow I'll be takin' a Banshee, addin' in Outlaws, stirrin' th' pot an' tastin' th' result. Let's hope it's a good brew...

  • 10/16

    • Templar sent in a lil' reminder of tomorrow's weekly tourney in Kali:

      Saturday 9pm Eastern time Outlaws Blind 2 on 2 tourney at Kali Outlaws Server. 50 cent Drafts all night. Hundreds of door prizes to be given away. AND James Beanie Baby dolls for the first 600 fans to enter. (Disclaimer: ok that was all bull. but be there anyway)
       
      For more info see the rules at:
      http://members.tripod.com/~Templar_BMG/rules.htm

      Oo oo Beanie Babies! Dang I'd be there but I gotta go clock th' OT on this dang buggy game I'm testin', I'm gonna miss all th' fun! :(

    • Now this, THIS is cool... in fact, I'd been thinkin' that since ya could already add sound effects, new character pictures, new character stats, new textures an' new weapon effects ta th' game, 'bout th' only thing left that'd need changin' ta make an Outlaws TC (Total Conversion) other'n bein' able ta change th' ammo an' health displays (which isn't really necessary) would be ta be able ta change th' LOOK of the weapons. Welll.... check out what Raf an' th' cool eggheads over at The Outlaws Editing Team sent in:

      Here are some screenshots of a new weapon the 'barrelled crossbow' by my brother Paul. It will appear in the last level of 'Crossed Identity' and a historical mission my brother is making.
       
      It will not be used in multiplayer maps because if it is a multiplayer map the weapon has to be drawn out for each character.

      the crossbow | reloading the crossbow

      Okay, so it looks a lil' funky, but WOW! Th' last element needed fer Outlaws game conversions has been CRACKED by th' OET boys! Woohoo! I expect ta see all kinds of wacky stuff comin' down th' pipe in a month or so... ooo boy imagine what could be done -- well, jus' 'bout anythin'! We could have gangster maps, WWII maps, geez... I'm gettin' dizzy here. An' while th' map OET's workin' on is gonna be single-player, multi CAN be done, it's jus' a matter of havin' ta have a weapon picture fer each character. Anythin's possible, an' it'll all have th' same flawless controls, fast framerates an' smooth multiplayer networking -- this is th' future baby, right there in those screenshots!!!

      If yer as excited 'bout this as I am, but have more time ta spare, why don'tcha go on over ta th' The Outlaws Editing Team site an' sign up -- I see right now they're especially lookin' fer artists ta draw new badguy graphics.

    • Th' generous Sling over at #Outlaws_Players has given Grifter his own spot on th' web, Grifter's Weekly Outlaws Update. It's basically Grifter talkin' dirty every week on some Outlaws related issue. Appropriately enough in his first week he's started with th' basics, ie why he plays Outlaws as opposed to other more well-known first-person-shooters. It's a fast loadin' site an' a great read, an' Grifty kin count me amongst his regular readers -- even if he did mess up th' link ta my site. ;) He's lookin' fer reader feedback, so go check it out!

    • New maps... Gas sent me yet another new map, this one's called Mud Land. This one looks pretty darn fun -- a small desert, symmetrical arena style map, not modelled on a realistic location but simple made ta provide a place ta exercise yer Outlaws skills. Here's a screenshot; this one's goin' on my bulging "To Host" list.

      Then I snagged one called Sniper from Darlin's GDO site. This one's sportin' some rather nifty modified weapons like a silenced 8 shot pistol an' an automatic double-barreled shotgun, plus this wacky rifle. On th' down side, ya kin tell that most of th' makers time went inta th' weapons, 'cause th' actual map itself is pretty plain. An' since th' OET hasn't broken th' news on how ta modify weapon pictures, th' guns look like th' reg'lar guns which can be somewhat confusin'.

    • As an added bonus, here's a shot illustratin' th' results of mixin' a 66mHz motherboard, a 100 mHz SDRAM DIMM an' a 50 mHz Voodoo card in Outlaws -- whoa! I'm hopin' that a Banshee will look much nicer, but I still haven't heard if one actually WORKS with Outlaws an' I'm tryin' ta hold off buyin' one 'til I know fer sure, so if you've tried a Banshee with Outlaws, lemme know how it went an' I'll, well... I'll thank ya heartily. :)

  • 10/15

    • If ya haven't done so of late (an' even if ya have) check out th' News page over at #Outlaws_Players. #OP webmaster Sling is puttin' a helluva lotta work inta doin' a bang-up daily news page, an' believe you me it IS a lot of work. ;) He's even got thumbnailed screenshots an' stuff which you'll never find here 'cause I don't wanna increase this page's bandwidth, but his news page ain't on th' first page of th' site so he doesn't have th' same problem.

      Top in his news is stuff 'bout big plans fer a reg'lar 1 on 1 tourney that's gonna be happnin' mebbe weekly in th' Outlaws irc channel...

    • Sling's also got tons of new maps up there (an' some not so new heh) -- hangin' out in IRC as he does he reg'larly rubs shoulders with plenty of LawMakers. Me, I'm jus' happy if I have time ta take a level screenshot these days... oh an' I guess I should warn ya, this week is major crunchtime fer th' game I'm testin' so I'll hafta work this weekend (th' game industry has th' WORST hours ;]) an' I prob'ly won't get ta play any of these new maps fer a lil' while. Dang!

      First up in th' list o' maps I swiped from Sting is Baseball by Foghorn. It's basically a baseball stadium, here's a shot from home plate. Now this map is hardly alone in th' genre; prob'ly th' first was Taco's Coliseum, then there's Paul Eden's Stadium an' another baseball one, Ballpark. So I guess sports fans are pretty well catered to in Outlaws, although personally I don't really care fer any of these maps.

      Then Sling's got Risk by someone who's name I fergit 'cause he didn't sign his map with a text file or name in th' title. ;P Anyhow "Risk" is a fairly fergitful map in it's own right, but here's a shot jus' fer fun.

      Then we've got Stinger's self-titled Stinger. Now this one kinda ticks me off -- it's a multiplayer conversion of th' excellent Sanctuary level from th' main game, ya know th' big town with th' hotel in th' middle: look familiar? So why am I pissed? 'Cause this was ALREADY done by Dryftwood in a map called Bigtown that came out OVER A YEAR AGO! Not ta mention th' fact that Stinger didn't include any doorways, which makes th' map look lame although mebbe cuttin' down on lag slightly... but then he shot that in th' foot by throwin' in at least 4 chickens -- Dryft had chickens, but only 3 an' as we all know each chicken adds more lag. Daaahhh!

      Stinger also has another one called Westside which is jus' one section of th' large Sanctuary map... but it's STILL GOT CHICKENS!!!

      Oh man... good thing I saved th' best fer last: namely Runaway Jim's map Timber Ho. Okay laugh all ya want at th' name, it's a darn neat map. There's a sawmill by a scenic waterfall which includes an actual working saw! An' let's not leave out th' big house with cool windows too. A complicated twisty map that looks great fer large games, this one is goin' on my "to host" list fer all that's worth since I prob'ly won't get ta host 'til like umm a week an' a half from now. ;p

    • New sites new sites new sites:

      WAC City
      Pretty slipshod site but it does have ICQ trackers fer th' WAC members, pretty handy fer those who use that program.
      WAC_Docolero
      Small stylish lil' page with lots of neat Outlaws imagery an' good info on this old Outlaws hand.
      BTJ's Outlaws Info Center
      Rather high-bandwidth small site with some links, IRC tips.
      Faster Than Death Outlaws Gang
      Large all-German web site with no graphics (many missing) so it does indeed load pretty fast but, like many neglected sites, its death may be a slow lingering one.
      Welcome to the Pharmacy
      Simple one-pager with th' "Pain Killers" gang membership and email links. I know I've seen 'em before but I always like those big blinky eyes...

    • StanJR worked out some aggression in my mailbox...

      You know i've walked into zone every day for the past week since i let out my new maps and you know all i see is F*CKING HELLTOWN GAMES UP FOR CHRIST SAKES THERES 32 F*CKING SECRETS IN THAT i build a damn good quality map aint nothing fancy made it decent for james and there playin helltown hell i got maps out that james works the best at for example dead house and carsonville well i guess i've vented enough well maybe not you need to post this so these damn people know that secrets suck in a level if they wanna learn to play come out and fight for your kills dont be a wimp about it hell i'll take them to hell town with sanchez or mary and wont touch a rifle and kill them just cause i'll camp in the main entry and blow them away not what skill does that take ARG I HATE PEOPLE THAT CAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hell we even cant get zoners to play temps new map now thats insulting.
      StanJr
      aka one pissed off map maker

      I STILL can't believe people in th' Zone, or anywhere fer that matter, play that lame map over an' over. Geez... I know th' Zone doesn't support file transfers, but sheesh go ta a website an' get some good maps fer pity's sake!

    • Dusty figgered he'd make up a lil' background ta go with his excellent though thematically plain Rifle Arena:

      "back in the days, there was a wild gunslinger with money to spare, (he might be accused of claim-jumpin) and the folks called him dusty, on account of his never even takin off his clothes. So he gained himself some fame, and often enough some young and brash shootist would try and best him in a gunfight. Eventually he got tired of it, and decided to hold a tournament, the winner would get a shot at him, and the duster could retire. So this place was built up, and the tournaments began. the only reason dust won the final fight, was because he had secretly stashed a little extra ammo here and there. Ever since, the place has been common ground to settle disputes."

      Isn't that a lovely story children? Well now, off you go to bed so you can get up early in th' mornin' ta shoot each other.

  • 10/14

    • StanJr fixed up his "TNT Wars" with a new version that actually lets ya load th' map... Basically it's a big round arena with stepped alcoves around it surrounded by a long canyon, here's a screenshot. Good place ta work on yer TNT skills!

      Hmm well darn these eight hour work days I'm outta time AGAIN. Should have more time tomorrow, got some new sites an' stuff.

  • 10/13

    • Ya know we're seein' game reviewers an' others appearin' ta pay more attention ta weapon balance in games these days. But I really can't unnerstan' why they're praisin' mos' games fer weapon balance... th' crux of it is this: if a game has things like rocket launchers, but starts you out with somethin' like a pistol, it is NOT BALANCED! It's GONNA come down ta who gets th' big gun first... thank goodness Outlaws never had this problem (except, I suppose, I modified-weapon maps like Templar's The Hill where th' central tower houses a tremendously powerful "Elephant Gun".

    • Speakin' of Templar, I got around ta takin' pics of some of th' new levels out, includin' his new one Indiana James. He kinda apologizes in th' readme fer goin' outside th' Western genre on this one, but really I think it's GREAT ta see th' invention an' variety of adventurous LawMakers, an' this maps is one of th' best examples of original Outlaws level design I've ever seen -- it's a Aztec or Olmec or some South American-type temple with all kinds of great new graphics (which accounts for th' 163KB file size). It looks simply fantastic, an' makes a great change of pace. Here are some shots:
      main temple area | outer courtyard | lava room w/ idol
      In th' room depicted in that last shot, th' light actually pulses slowly, which is damn cool an' somethin' I don't think I've ever seen in a multiplayer Outlaws map before! Also th' "idol" surrounded by lava (that's my body in th' lava, btw -- ouch!) is actually a power-up, but I won't blow it by tellin' which one... ;)

      Okay I also got a shot of StanJr's daylight version of his own Double Duece. Actually I like th' dark, moody version better, but this one may be easier ta play in.

      Then there's Cutter's new Trading Post, a re-creation of a Hudson Bay Company trading fort. This one's very large an' long, lookin' like ya'd better polish up yer rifle... check out this shot of th' front area. Pretty vast, eh?

      Ahh then there was also StanJr's "TNT Wars" but I couldn't get that one ta load, even after fiddlin' with it... hafta check with Stan on that one...

    • Raf sez that VERSION 2 of th' Outlaws Editing Team's "NWX Editor" will be out soon, an' this is like jus' a week after th' first version came out. Well anyhow th' NWX editor lets ya make yer own Outlaws badguys! What a concept -- stay tuned ta their site if this whets yer appetite fer game hackery.

    • Sling mentioned that he has a lil' Javascript tip thingy on his news page but it don't work in Netscape 3, anyhow ya kin see th' tips by readin' th' source code. ;) I tend ta browse with Javascript off anyhow -- keeps away those annoyin' pop-up windows an' animated buttons.

    • Young Outlaws webmaster SmellyRoach has a lil' press announcement:

      SmellyRoach, yes, your very own SmellyRoach, is looking for someone to please, please, please, please, help him out with an up-coming site... there is one thing that SR really lacks, graphics making! nothing big, I just need some good graphics and stuff... PLEASE! this site will be more of a personal accomplishment to me, then it will be useful to anyone else.. i have something that i JUST have to do.. and that is make a good web page.. one of the greats, like Pale's, KaReFree's, Redemtions, QOT's and others... i just HAVE TO! and heck, mebbe in the process it'll get popular! anyhow, it would be great if ya could help me out, u'll get FULL credit for all the stuff ya do! if for some ODD ODD reason ya would like to help me out, email me!
       
      thanks,
       
      SR

      Ahh that tormenting urge ta make websites... how I curse thee! Go help 'Roach out!

    • Oh yeah I also got around ta addin' Apache an' Dusty's Rifle Arena ta th' list of my favorite maps on th' level page. On a related note, Apache author ForkTongue mentioned that th' follow up, "Papoose", is like 95% done, so we kin look forward ta that pretty soon now. :)

  • 10/12

    • Darn, time is short yet again today so you'll jus' hafta check these new levels out fer yerself 'til I get some time ta look 'em over (tomorrow?)... Cutter sharpened up a new map, Trading Post, based on an old Hudson Bay Trading post in Alberta, Canada circa 1886. Sounds pretty darn neat. Then StanJr came up with YET ANOTHER map (in fact he's got yet another in th' works as we speak), this one's called TNT Wars an' I think ya kin guess what it's all about. Wonder if it's much dif'rent from TNT War? ;) Ah yes Stan also mentioned that he's aware there are a few minor oddities in his new daylight version of his map "Double Duece", but he's pretty sure that he meant to do things that way, you see it's actually advanced lighting techniques and er mud sinking down into the cave due to rain... make sense? I hope so 'cause I dunno what th' heck he's talkin' about, I suppose it'll come clear when I actually get time ta look at these maps!

    • Retired Outlaw turned composer Doominator has worked up another Western mp3 for us, this one's called On Horseback in the Old West (2 MB). Very Ennio Morricone-esque synthesized composition, quite impressive!

      If it plays back all scrambled that means it downloaded in th' wrong format an' ya kin fix it with MP3 Restorer. Oh yeah an' I hear that if yer innerested in original Ennio Morricone stuff ya might like this site although I dunno quite what's there... Fer those sad ignoramuses who don't know, Ennio Morricone is th' guy who composed th' soundtracks fer Sergio Leone's famous "Spaghetti Westerns".

    • Got more stuff, but less time. Tomorrow, hopefully.

  • 10/11

    • Got in a couple good games last night in Forktongue's Apache and Dusty's Rifle Arena. Both very fun maps, will go th' level page's recommended list as soon as I have time ta do proper write-ups. In th' meantime check 'em out fer yerself!

    • Seems that veteran level maker Grifter has a bee in his britches! Here's what he writes:

      i want to know why it's so hard for map designers to do something as simple as stitching (aligning) textures. there's even a tool for it. all you have to do it select the textures you want to stitch in order, then goto to the "tools" tab, then the "levels" button, then the "stitch" tab. when in there select to stitch top, mid and bottom textures on horizontal (it's better to do verticle manually.) there days there are just way too many maps where people didn't take the time to do stitching, if you want people to play your maps, take the time to make it look nice, it's not a big deal!

      I mus' say that I agree wholeheartedly with th' Grifster. If yer gonna make a level, take th' time ta do it right. What's th' rush? Ya got all th' time in th' world, but if ya rush it nobody's gonna be playin' it in a week's time...

    • Well Templar conducted another 2 on 2 Blind Tourney in Kali's Outlaws server yesterday, as he's gonna be doin' every Saturday afternoon. It's called a "Blind" tourney 'cause yer assigned a partner ta fight with -- pretty wild, eh? Templar jus' handed me th' results, an' th' winners are

      BADD
      &
      Templar

      Huzzah! Nothin' like winnin' yer own tourney... 'though th' modest Templar sez BADD pretty much carried th' team, who defeated th' tenacious team of MissKitty and Kbyrne 30-23 in th' final ta seize this week's top spot. They'll be doin' it again this comin' Saturday, so let's all try ta show up an' have a dance!

    • New maps handed in, don't have time ta look 'em over today but I'll stick 'em in th' archive so you kin check 'em out fer yerself... th' busy Templar's got a new one, Indiana, inspired by Mr. Jones himself. An' StanJr who at one time not so long ago insisted he was retirin' has actually been workin' on a daylight version of his map "Double Duece", so check 'em both out. Hopefully I'll be able ta go over these tomorrow.

  • 10/10

    • The Age of the Banshee (TM) is upon us. Ya know I was never really tempted ta get a Voodoo2 'cause they're so darn expensive, but with Banshees costin' under $100 with great 2D an' 3D that should run Outlaws even faster than a Voodoo2 'cause of its higher clock speed I'm thinkin' that th' Banshee is gonna be th' card of choice fer insanely fast Outlaws play. Hopefully I'll get my hands on some ta test soon, but if YOU have any direct Outlaws+Banshee experience, lemme know!

      One thing I've been thinkin' is that if a lot of folks end up gettin' Banshees, or already have a Voodoo2 board, we could be seein' maps specially designed fer these cards -- seein' as how a Voodoo2 kin get hundreds of fps in Outlaws at 640x480, LawMakers could design amazingly complex maps that would still run at acceptable rates on these cards, maps beyond what is feasible for software or Voodoo1 rendering. Not that I'm encouraging alienatin' those slower systems (since god knows I still have one) OR makin' laggy maps jus' fer th' hell of it, but it would be an interestin' twist an' I'd like ta see what could be done...

    • Gas sent me th' latest version of a new map of his, Siberia2. This is a good lookin' Arctic type map, but thankfully th' ice isn't all slippy-slidy. It jus' looks cool. Here's a shot; this one's goin' on my "To Host" list.

    • Swiped a couple maps from Darlin's GDO site which she's jus' updated with a spooky though high-bandwidth Halloween look, by th' way. Anyhow th' maps were JTMason's "Return of the Shelter" an' Return of the Shelter 2. Shelter was an' old map of his, small DM thinger, an' these are expansions upon it with some really crazy architecture. Check out this shot, pretty loopy eh? Actually it looks pretty neat, I'll hafta give it a shot. Oh yeah don't bother with version 1, version 2 is th' same but with framerates fixed up real good.

    • An Outlaw by th' name of GOOM_KingFu (hey, don't ask ME) dropped in with some pretty good ideas fer an' Outlaws sequel. They aren't completely NEW things, but rather enhancements ta th' current game that I find very well thought out. They've been added ta th' sequel page but here they are fer you lazy folks:

      • I don't know wether there exists a tool for managing outlaws levels. At the moment choosing one level for a multiplayer game from more than 50 maps takes too much scrolling when hosting a game. To save time I removed most of the multiplyer maps manually and left only the most important maps in the outlaws folder. I think it should be possible to add a kind of favorites or bookmark mechanism to quickly find the right map without having to scroll the whole day.
      • In addition to the player names in a multiplayer game there should be added a character, that indicates which weapon is actually choosen by each player.
      • I also like the idea of the possibilty to re-assign. Last week I had chosen James Anderson by mistake in a bunkers game. And I can tell ya, I really HATE James Anderson ;-) I quit the game to re-assign, but I wasn't able to join the game again. Ok, that is maybe a special problem of Zone playing (or Direct play, I dunno).

    • Sling has finished up th' brand new levels page on #Outlaws_Players. THIS is how level pages should look -- unlike my lazy-ass "Map Archive". ;) A fast, attractive format makes grabbin' maps easy -- this is gonna be one of th' best places ta go fer th' latest maps!

    • In honor of top LawMaker Taco's birthday, Banjo has whipped up a lil' tribute page ta th' man in the Fun Stuff page of the KWSN gang site. Check it out, hilarious stuff! Plus he's added some pics of th' gang so ya kin see what these varmits look like. Ummm.... all I kin say is that Banjo is one damn lucky guy!

      Oh I had a lil' trouble gettin' th' Java tribute thingy ta work... if ya can't get past th' first page of th' "Real Taco Saga", jus' go ta th' second page directly.

    • Well, it's lookin' like I WILL have time today, so hopefully I'll be hostin' Outlaws games this evenin' in Kali... woo it's been a while, I gotta shake th' rust off. If ya don't wanna bother with Kali, ya kin always jus' use my latest IP # on th' upper left there. If Big Nose Kate kin shake her current TNT driver woes, she may show too... hehe she's REALLY rusty! ;)

  • 10/8

    • GoJo came up with some tactics for playin' on his groundbreakin' new map, Coonhound Holler. Here's what he says:

      If you are on the upper section, simply point your weapon at the window and run at it. Voila, you are in the house with no effort whatever. I thought about fixing the hill side to allow getting under the house from the outside, but decided to leave it as a quirk that I might be able to exploit. Imagine being in the crawlspace while someone tried to get in from that side: sitting duck. The clumps of grass on the sides of the stoops are for sniping and camo for my favorite character, Anderson.

      Ooo good stuff! Wish I had a chance ta play it...

    • Gas fixed up a lil' prob with his latest map, "Bigger Estate", thus givin' us Bigger Estate 2. I don't think it's bigger, but it should be better. Man ya kin tell I'm tired, that was a laaaaame joke.

    • Raf sent in happy news that his Outlaws Editing Team will be comin' out with their NWX Editor, Version 1, this weekend, hopefully by noon SAT GMT. Now why should you care? 'Cause th' NWX Editor will let ya edit NWX files. Duh. NWX files are Outlaws character files. Sooooo... with th' NWX Editor you will be able to make your own badguys! Ooooo baby!

    • Deathcrib came up with a lil' item ya may find handy if yer constantly losin' track of IP addresses fer Outlaws games hosted in Kali or IRC. It's his IP Sheet which is a handy table fer writin' down this stuff in a snazzy lil' layout. Enjoy!

  • 10/7

    • I bin thinkin' 'bout somethin'... I'd be willin' ta bet that most of th' sites that reviewed Outlaws didn't test th' multiplayer on a normal modem connection. Most reviewers tend ta be on big fat corporate internet connections and thus base their evaluation of a game's multiplayer capability on their testing (if any) over their local LAN or their fast net connection.

      So while most of th' reviewers mentioned that Outlaws' networking suite was well-rounded, they didn't really get th' full appreciation of th' Outlaws multiplayer engine. 'Course all us Outlaws who've played on modem connects know that Outlaws not only resists lag to such an extent that it is completely playable with pings of 600 or more, but that when lag does hit, it doesn't freeze th' gameplay up an' make it all jerky like, well, like just about any other first person shooter.

      It's funny that all these folks who think of themselves as hardcore gamers spend all this money kitting out their systems with RAM, CPU power and expensive video cards -- only to have them rendered moot in jerky online play. Outlaws is so smooth there's jus' no comparison; it's spoiled me so that I cringe at th' thought of playin' most other games online.

    • Th' swell Doominator, who sent me a custom mp3 fer my birthday :) is havin' his own birthday on th' 16th. So if ya wanna spread some of that Outlaws cheer ta this mostly retired dead-eye, send him a kindly e-mail when th' big day arrives!

    • Gas has come out with a follow-up to his "Lil' Estate" map: "Bigger Estate". Hmm not th' most creative of names, but a pretty decent lookin' map -- a small house with a river, bunkers an' a few twisty tunnels, here's a shot. Actually strangely enough I couldn't fit inta one of th' tunnels... hmm mebbe I missed somethin'. Anyhoo why don'tcha stop by Gas's Homepage, a nice place in it's own right, an' pick it up?

    • GoJo jus' handed me a new map, Coonhound Holler. And I say this: if you love Outlaws you must get this map! Okay mebbe that's a lil' strongly worded, but by cracky this is one'a th' coolest maps I done set my eyes on. Fer one thing it gets it's inspiration from th' best place: real life. GoJo had this ta say on th' subject:

      This one should be recognizable to all appalachian people. It looks like nearly every small valley in the hills. The shack is evocative of a house where I once actually lived. I spared the already overdone outhouse, though. You might want to revisit BOXER. There is a sociological message there with the separation of blue and white collar, joined, of course, by the saloon. The ornate arena is my own take on something Cincinnati is doing now, spending tax dollars to build sports facilities.

      Whew heavy, man! Well whatever, alls I know is it's a great level and, as great levels should be, truly innovative: GoJo has come up with an ingenious method for making REAL 3D trees without screwin' framerates. How's he do it? Well you'll hafta look at th' map ta find out, but here's a shot ta give ya a hint. When ya load up th' map you'll also see th' amazin' job he's done with layered terrain as well as bordering trees and ambient sounds. Damnit I'm talkin' too much, jus' GET IT NOW!

    • Sling has found a new home fer his fine "#Outlaws_Players" site. Actually it's not a NEW home, it's Shifty's old home at http://www.cool.simplenet.com/outlaws/. Shifty had a pretty cool site but hadn't been able ta update it fer a while, so he generously donated th' space ta Sling, givin' #OP unlimited space with NO ADS unlike certain sites I could name... ahem! Slingo's workin' like a maniac gettin' their levels page inta shape. It's great ta see #OP ridin' high in th' saddle again!

    • If ya remember a lil' while back, Kodia came out with a pretty neat level called "Dagnabbit" that had jus' one problem -- crazy texture glitches on 3dfx cards. Well Kodi couldn't sleep at night knowin' his creation had this lil' flaw, an' after many sleepless nights he's fixed it! Here's th' fixed version; I named th' file "dagnabit11" as in "this is dagnabit version 1.1" 'cause I like ta be orderly about these things. If ya held off gettin' it before, ya got no excuse now. Here's a screenshot of th' cool lighting effects ta jog yer memory.

  • 10/6

    • Whoops, missed a day updatin'. Poo! Well at least I got another 64 megs in my computer -- 128 runs NT pretty darn smooth, FINALLY. Sheez, I remember havin' like 6 MB on my Amiga 4000 an' thinkin' that was more'n I'd ever need...

    • Stole a map from Darling's GDO site: Fessville 2. Fessville was a decent map, an' F2 seems more of any expansion an' revision than anythin' totally new, which isn't a bad thing.

    • ShotgunMc sent me his first ever map, Outlaw's End. Fer a first try it's VERY impressive, especially in terms of complexity an' construction. It's a BIG canyon with multiple mine shafts, nice lightin' effects in th' mine shafts. Let's roll in a few screenshots:

      shot 1 | shot 2 | shot 3

      It might be a bit wide an' spread out fer a real intense multiplayer game, but well worth a look I think. I DO get kinda ticked fallin' down dark pits in pitch-black mineshafts though. Tread carefully.

    • DrDeath2 dropped by ta say he has two new maps at his USM home page, "Thunder Ranch" an' "The Woods". Turok's "Thunder Ranch" is kinda on th' plain side, but solid. "The Woods" looks pretty darn interestin', not yer usual type of layout by any means: here's a shot. This one's goin' on my "to host" list -- again ya kin pick these both up at Doc's USM site.

    • Speakin' of maps on my "to host" list, ForkTongue isn't satisfied with his incredible Apache. He's workin' on a new version dubbed "Papoose". Here's what he says:

      The OGB gave me the opportunity (also true friends of fork) to play apache for the first time online. I must admit I was a little disappointed, my doorways were a little too small, it seemed a little slow moving & choppy for me, it could have been lag or it might have been the map I'm not sure. All hope is not lost as I'm begging the OGB right now to work with me on papoose to finish it right and make it fun for all of us. So you probably won't get it this week, but I hope it will be worth the wait.

      Well shucks I thought Apache was pretty darn awesome, but then again artists tend ta be their own worst critics. Can't wait ta see this next one by Fork!

    • Heh my new RAM was doin' a funny thing. See, it's a 100 mHz DIMM, whereas my motherboard is only 66 mHz. Th' faster RAM still works, but runnin' on my voodoo with th' voodoo underclocked in NT ta keep it cooler I started seein' all kinds of funky stuff; check this out -- that's a horse, believe it or not, an' th' stuff in th' upper left corner is text. Hehe. Got straightened out as soon as I clocked th' voodoo back up ta th' default 50 mHz.

  • 10/4

    • Dusty sent me a new map of his, Dusty's Rifle Arena. Actually it's not jus' fer riflers -- there's a bigger upper part (see?) that kinda reminds me of DeanWermer's "Kentucky", an' then a lower part (see?) with nice lil' lanterns in th' walls, an' they're connected by kind of in-between tunnelly parts. Looks pretty ideal fer small or medium deathmatches, I'll hafta stick it on my "To Host" list... I especially like how his readme.txt says "You may do whatever you want with this file". Woohoo! Well I'm gonna... um... oh I'll upload it ta my map archive, that's what I'll do!

    • Templar sent in th' results of th' first ever Kali "Blind 2 on 2 Tourney" where ya get partnered up with a random cowhand. This week's lovely winners are -- ooo wait lemme whip out that big font:

      Killercraig
      &
      Fallsdown

      Hurrah! Aren't they a lovely couple, folks? Well if yer jealous, jus' show up next Saturday in th' Kali Outlaws server, 9pm EST 'cause this is gonna be like a weekly thing. Runner-ups Templar an' Funlvncriminal who lost in a hard fought 30-26 match are prob'ly gonna be there too (well Temp will it's his idea after all) so why don't you all go join in th' action!

    • DrDeath2 sent me this pic off'a his site. Here's his story behind it:

      Matt Jackson (Dr Death) Has been seen alive. We all thought he was dead didn't we? Well he has survived. This Photo was taking by a man walking by the old abandoned mines where he was supposily killed by Ex- Marshall James Anderson. Well our photo man has apparently seen Him and photographed him

      We can only imagine what the evil doctor is up to? Maybe he wants to get even with a Guy using his name? Drdeath2? well we can only imagine...
       
      The Outlaws Files....

      Pretty spooky stuff there -- dang I was hopin' ta get some sleep tonight...

    • Silverwire has taken off his previous site ta work on his new page, The Snake Clinic. Extremely graphically hyperactive, I'd only recommend it fer th' patient or those with real fast connections. Packed with some pretty intense, not really Western imagery, some News an' levels fer download as well. Not fer th' timid!

    • Th' ever-lovin' Doominator sent me an actual custom-made mp3 of th' man himself singin' me "Happy Birthday" (245K). Aww, ya kin feel th' love, can't ya? I'm stickin' this up here so y'all kin see what a good singer ol' Doomy is -- heck, he sings better than I do, an' English isn't even his first language! If ya want more Doominator lovin' ya kin get it in spades at his (non-Outlaws) site. Thanks Doomy!

      Hmm in case this downloads all scrambled, ya might need this program (24K) ta fix it up.

    • Gryphon has a lil' editorial column over at Sling's #Outlaws_players site. This week's article is called "Cheap Levels" an' it's a pretty good read. I mus' say it'd make things a lot easier with less crappy maps comin' out all th' time! What are ya lookin' at this for, go read th' article!

    • Found a new site off'a somebody's link list, I fergit whose eheh. After much agonizin' I'm filin' this under "R" rather than "D" since "Ratz" is th' posse an' "Da" is jus' an illiterate form of "The" which isn't counted in title alphabetization. Uh, yeah. Here:

      Da Ratz Nest
      Rats rats everywhere! This sneaky lil' skin-tailed page of th' Rat Clan stares boldly back at ya through evil squinty red rat eyes. Looks like they enjoy laughin' it up with Doc Death. Fun stuff.

  • 10/3

    • NEWS FLASH:
      Templar sent me this -- it takes place TONIGHT so check it out quick:

      In an effort to bring in folks to kali outlaws. my gang the BMG are hosting a Blind 2 on 2 tourney each and every Saturday at 9pm EST. Whats a BLIND tourney you say? Well its my idea to get people of all skill levels a chance to win a tourney. Everyone enters the touney alone and then is assigned a team mate by random draw.

      Sounds pretty fun -- kinda like a blind date, but without th' awkward obligations. ;) I'll jus' shut up now. You go check it out.

    • Boy that was fun. ;p Apparently some hacker messed up GaGames' systems an' I couldn't update my site or receive mail since late Wednesday night. So if ya tried sendin' me news in between then an' now, I didn't get it! Arrrrrgh.

      Well I haven't been completely idle. I think I fixed some little nested table issues with Netscape 4. There's a lot more I want to go into on this site, particularly th' unique aspect of Outlaws' multiplayer maps. Th' difference in maps between Outlaws an' other first-person-shooters comes down to this: Outlaws' maps are of actual places that you can identify in place and time, as opposed to maps for other shooters that are merely confusing jumbles of platforms and elevators.

      See, Outlaws actually has a THEME other than "this is cool, kill kill kill!" I think ya kin see this difference when ya look at maps made by people who are new ta th' Outlaws scene -- their maps have Outlaws textures but have no SOUL and remain a pointless mess of corridors and rooms. Fortunately th' smart folks figger this out pretty quick an' start producin' real maps.

      What do I mean by real maps? I mean maps that actually create a believable location that we can identify with. Maps like "Apache", "Iceberg" and "S. S. Smo", to name jus' a few. To me a game is SO much more interesting when I can relate to th' place it puts me. Even in th' cuttin'-edge game I'm a tester on right now, th' multiplayer maps remain completely devoid of any meaning or identity. UGH!

      Anyhow I'm gonna add somethin' like that ta th' game page along with a few other things when I get time; I don't really have time today 'cause it's my birthday. :) My brother gave me an ironing board and an iron, which I really hope I NEVER have to use... I kinda prefer th' rough an' tumble rumpled look. ;)

    • On Thurday I got home ta find I hadn't gotten ANY mail. That was pretty odd... I went ahead an' wrote th' followin' article ta post, an' only when I tried ta upload it did I find out my ftp an' mail server access was spoojed! So anyhow here's that post:

      Gee a slow news day. Actually, a NO news day, which is fine with me 'cause I'm beat. This two-job thing ain't really my bag. Oooo...

      It's interesting working at a game company and seeing the other side of all th' hype an' stuff that gets gamers excited -- good or bad. I mean you see all this hype surrounding a game that isn't out yet that you've already played whose revision history you know. Then you see these game designers worshipped as gods by scores of rabid gamers when they're really just a bunch of overworked, out-of-shape young to middle-aged but mostly young guys who sit around all day in shorts and a T-shirt looking rather pale and unwashed. Not that I'm lookin' down on that or nothin'... noOOO I ain't quite in that position. ;) It's just an interesting perspective to see from.

      Then you also see that th' company guy with a scary name in th' chat forum tantilizing drooling gamers with hints about the game is really jus' th' 17-year-old tester who spends all day cracking jokes about your mom who he's never met. And you see the most expensive graphics cards you'll ever see, and hear that the company is receiving 100 of these other really nice cards just because the graphic chip company wants them to like their hardware and these cards come in bright red plastic lunch boxes with pink foam padding and 70's style art. And you wonder where all the soon-to-be hand-me-down cards will go...

      Then you sit and test a game all day and crash and crash and only occasionally remember to wonder if this is going to be a fun game but you can't really worry about that right now because you're only supposed to find the bugs anyhow and th' programmers haven't had enough sleep for th' past two months and don't really want to hear about how you think this certain gun is too wimpy looking and they're already working on the next build anyway. And then you wonder again whether all this effort isn't going into a game that will suck but then again it isn't your game 'cause if it were your game you'd be doing things way differently although you don't know anything about it, really. Then the kid at the station next to you plays that funk remix mp3 about fish for the b-jillionth time and you try to remember exactly at what point did you begin to kind of like it?

      It's an interesting place to be.

  • 9/30

    • Doc emailed me that his QOT gang site it back online, an' indeed it is. A very nicely designed site with LOTS of info, levels an' so forth. Unfortunately fer me it pretty much crashes my trusty Netscape 3. Works in IE 3 with jus' a few Javascripts errors. Anyhow if ya actually get in there it's very nice lookin', with a clean, consistent, complex layout that really stands out.

    • ForkTongue had a few comments 'bout playin' on his excellent lookin' map, Apache:

      All the windows are for sniping, or chucking Dynamite out of. I know ya like that (Dynamite) the rooms are small for those in yer face shotgun blasts. that's for The Mary's and me ive kina taken to luggin a shotgun around but still like doc. and the bottom of the hill is for those blasted James snipers. hehe easy to chuck a dynamite down the hill. :0 Textures inside are for Two feathers watch him blend in I hope. and the black texture was for those wacky Bob types.

      Please note: A lota folks don't like hidden walls. so I centralized them and I believe that I counter checked them so as not get a sniping advantage. I noticed ya don't really like folks hidden behind 1 way walls sniping ya.

      He also mentioned that people play "Helltown" in th' Zone a lot. MAN that map sucks! I'm sorry, but it does. I can't believe people actually play that thing on a continuous basis... sheez!

    • Was chattin' with a game design guy who likes Outlaws at th' lil' game company I'm testin' fer, an' he mentioned that sprite-based games (like Outlaws, where th' characters are pictures rather than polygons) can handle SO many more players at once than polygon games, even with 3D acceleration, that they may be th' way ta go fer massive multiplayer games. This kinda goes with what I was talkin' about th' other day in that with increased bandwidth and CPU power we're gettin' as time goes on, Outlaws might be able ta handle maybe even as many as 100 players at a time on Pentium 2 systems with DSL or cable-modem class connections. Yeeeeee-HAW!

    • If yer name happens ta be Twobitt I hear ya may be innerested in whatever might be on this page. Ya might also consider usin' a correct reply-to address in yer e-mails... ;\

  • 9/29

    • Raf tells me th' Outlaws Editing Team did indeed get that Darth Vader character file from th' original Dark Forces. They should be able to convert it into an Outlaws character file with their nifty NWX editor, so mebbe we'll get ta gun down an AI Darth Vader in th' not too distant future... an' of course they kin also make original baddies so if you got a hankerin' ta draw some lil' bitmapped badguys, check 'em out.

    • New levels -- swiped some from th' always up to date GDO site. Forktongue also sent in his first creation, Apache, an' Hoss of th' Outlaws Gang Busters sent over his new map, D'yerMak'er which is some kind of Led Zepplin reference that eludes my faint knowledge of heavy metal.

      "Apache" is downright spectacular! Hard ta believe this is th' author's first map -- it's a huge, intricate one that reminded me a bit of Aysuk's "Tarnation" but with th' important difference of havin' a real setting: a Native American cliff dwelling. Th' theme gives Forky free reign ta cobble together all kinds of fantastic small rooms, chutes and stairways in a wonderfully tumbled arrangement that'll keep ya so occupied ya may fergit ta keep yer eyes open fer th' bad guys. He's even got some cool sound effects and custom textures in there! Here are a few screenshots:
      shot 1 | shot 2 | shot 3

      Hoss's "D'yerMak'er" is a bit more of what one is used to in an Outlaws map, an' actually is somethin' of a thankful return to normalcy after Apache's cramped twisty turns. "D'yerMak'er" is basically a small barn, corral, farmhouse and wagon in a lil' cliff settin'. An extremely solid map with high framerates, this one is a definite keeper for small deathmatchin'. Here's a shot.

      Th' 3 from th' GDO site aren't so swell. One of 'em, "Splash", is kinda pretty so I took a shot. Actually looks like a pretty solid map.

      Lemme jus' say that I won't add a map ta my favorites list until I actually get ta play a good long game on it. I don't have time ta play a whole lot right now, but "Apache" an' "D'yerMak'er" are definitely at th' head of my "To Host" list fer when I do have time. Of course all th' maps have been added to th' map archive.

  • 9/28

    • I've been thinkin' a bit lately; an odd thing for a gamer to do, I know, but wait, it gets stranger. I've been thinking: who cares about an Outlaws sequel? Why should we want one?

      Most people just pretty much assume that a good game should get a sequel, and that the sequel would be an improvement upon th' original. But working as a tester with the "latest and greatest" games with cutting-edge graphics engines has lead me to question that assumption.

      Yes, Outlaws' graphics engine isn't th' greatest. But you know what? It does th' job. It can present old Western settings in a believable, if slightly cartoonish way. And right now its main attribute is speed. On an ol' voodoo card I average about 70-80 frames per second. Without a 3dfx card you kin still get fast framerates usin' th' MGL video drivers. That makes fer some mighty smooth deathmatchin'. When yer movin' that fast, ya don't care too much fer looks anyhow. Ya ain't got time ta gawk at scenery. Comparatively, th' latest games run at somethin' like 10-20 fps on a similar system. Gee, which game do YOU think will be more fun to play?

      Besides eye-candy, in what other way can new games even TRY to compete with Outlaws? Outlaws is smoother, faster and more stable. It's less laggy and more intense. Th' movement is quicker and more responsive than any other first person shooter out there, period. Th' variety of character and weapons are interesting and make for great variety in multiplayer action, while at the same time requiring skill and practice to master. This isn't a game where you get th' BIG gun an' blow everyone ta hell from a nice cozy camping spot.

      So sure, it'd be nice ta see a sequel that kept all those good things an' wrapped 'em up in a nice shiny new graphics engine. But how likely is it that a sequel could repeat th' magical performance of Outlaws? It's difficult to quantify many things about th' game an' it seems ta me folks would be hard-pressed to replicate Outlaws' unique feel. In th' brief time since Outlaws came out PC games have become HUGE business, and development an expensive undertaking where almost all of th' money goes to th' multimedia effects. Th' developer invests huge amounts of $ in th' game an' has ta recoup its investment as quickly as possible by gettin' th' game into stores in a hurry. Th' bigger money games nowadays may spend several years in development but less than a week in play-testing with a feature-complete build. Can you really fine-tune a good game that quickly? Well, you can, but th' gameplay suffers. I'll bet ya Outlaws was play tested fer a bit longer than that. That was back when people had TIME ta make a game jus' right.

      There are really only two things I would love to see added to Outlaws; if these were in there I have no doubt Outlaws would last "forever" -- not that it won't but these'd cinch it. Th' first would be Direct3D or OpenGL support. Th' Glide acceleration is great, but who knows how long 3dfx will be around? They're inevitably losing market share to other hardware companies who are finally catching up to their level of performance. Once nobody had Glide-compatible hardware anymore, interest in Outlaws would probably wane. It's hard to go back to software after you get used to hardware accelerated graphics.

      The second thing would be some kind of in-game indicator of your ping to the other players. Lag sucks, and I and others have had times where we become downright dispirited about laggin' all th' time. An in-game indicator would let us know who's laggin' so we don't live in that horrible realm of doubt. You'd learn who you could play good games with, and who to avoid because of a bad connection. This would make multiplayer quite a bit more enjoyable and would put an end to the incessant arguments you see about lag.

      But, on the other hand, hardware is improving all th' time. In a few years most people will have computers that can run Outlaws in software mode at high resolution and high framerates, so mebbe hardware acceleration will be a moot point. On a similar note, high-bandwidth solutions are gradually becoming available to home users so bad lag will be less of an issue as time goes on. An all DSL match, for instance, might be able to support up to 100 players without lag -- provided everyone's CPU and RAM were up to th' task. Faster computers will mean people can handle more players and more complex levels. Can you imagine what a 50 player match on a level that replicated a small Western city would be like? Wow. Meanwhile, other "cutting-edge" games will continue to add features that hog more bandwidth and processing power. While they stay roughly the same speed, Outlaws will only get faster!

      Yes, the future for Outlaws is bright indeed. Let's not worry too much about a sequel. The game we love is here, now and for the forseeable future, and will only get better and better as time goes on.

      (added the above to the sequel page)

    • Whew well that ended up bein' kinda wordy. Here's somethin' shorter: webmaster Sling of #Outlaws_Players wants ta get things rollin' down there with a new logo ta replace their current non-descript but functional one. So if yer an "aspiring webartist" ta use Sling's phrase, he'd jus' luv ya ta death if ya worked up an original logo fer th' #O_P bunch, an' he'd see ya got full credit fer yer masterpiece. It IS a pretty popular site boys an' girls, an' rightly so, so this's yer chance ta really make yer mark on th' Outlaws scene. Head on over there an' give Sling a holler!

  • 9/27

    • Thanks ta KaReFree I got some screenshots of that game I mention in th' sequel page: 4D Sports Boxing. This was a cool old polygon-based boxing game that was WAY ahead of it's time in many respects. Here's what I added to th' "Character Generation" section of th' sequel page:

      Here are some screenshots of 4D Sports Boxing:
      Shot 1 - You could change your character's attributes and see the changes made to the character model in real time.
      Shot 2 - Here I've put the weight slider all the way up, fattening up the polygons to go from featherweight to super-heavyweight.
      Shot 3 - You could also select from a variety of faces.
      Shot 4 - Here's a different face. Oo now I look mean!
      Shot 5 - You could also control the level of model detail on the fly to get the perfect balance between looks and framerate; here's maximum detail.
      Shot 6 - Get a load of minimum detail: pretty sparse but it flew on even the slowest system. You could also select "AUTO" to have the computer adjust the detail on the fly to keep your framerate high at all times. We're only just recently beginning to see games like Shogo that are re-introducing this type of LOD (Level Of Detail) control.
    • Semi-retired Outlaw StanJr seems ta be fed up with people who complain about those who use various characters... anyhow he's popped up a lil' punctuation-deprived rant about it over on his Gunslinger Gang Page -- pretty insightful stuff here. Th' best part is where he says "quit the damn whining and play and have fun". Amen brother!

      Hmm as far as punctuation goes, VoodooExtreme's webmaster "FireHawk" told me all my apostrophes make it annoyin' ta read my writin'. Well kiss my grits!

    • Blackthorn and Picante of th' LJP Gang have worked up a remix of Sticky's popular map "Wicked". Th' new version is called Evil an' is Blackthorn tells me that only he an' I have permission ta post it fer th' next two weeks... that's HIS idea so don't come cryin' ta me. Oh an' this was made with fine young Sticky's blessin'.

    • Sling, th' new webmaster over at #Outlaws_Players, th' official site fer those wild an' crazy IRC Outlaw types, is kinda peeved with all th' folks (mos'ly ignorant Zone types) who are under th' false impression fer some reason that nobody plays over there. Well I kin tell ya from personal experience that there are more players there now than ever, often 20 or more at once. Th' thing is that when you come in they may be playin' or chattin' on another channel, but jus' wait a minute an' someone's sure ta find ya. Same thing pretty much goes fer th' Kali Outlaws server.

    • Raf is lookin' fer artists ta make new Outlaws badguys with th' aid of th' cool NWX editor he an' th' bright boys at The Outlaws Editing Team came up with. With this baby you kin make pretty much any character ya wanna shoot, it jus' takes a lil' drawin'. So if yer innerested, head on over an' give 'em a holler!

    • That risque image-contortin' varmit, Fallsdown, has sent over a lil' Outlaws Vacation Picture that didn't make it into his "photo album" on th' Outraws - Wit and Wisdom Gang site. If ya missed that, go check it out, it's th' funniest thing since Blackthorn's CSB Posse page.

      Now this pic is a lil' umm... well anyhow if yer sensitive, be warned. Here's th' shot an' his caption:

      Sanchez spent a little time at a clothing optional club and got in a little beach volleyball while there.

      Ahem! Err yes well that's all in order then.

  • 9/26

    • El quicko update today; Spent all day catchin' up on web design stuff I didn't get done durin' th' week because of this game testing stuff I'm doin'. Nobody's guessed th' game company yet. ;) Only one guess per person!

    • TACO'S SINGLE-PLAYER ADD-ON IS OUT! Long awaited, finally here. Or rather, over at th' new #Outlaws_Players site where kick-ass new webmaster Sling has also punched up yet another action packed strategy section. This one's about gettin' yer internet connection workin' good. Get on over there! Taco didn't manage ta get his neat intro slide-show into th' add-on 'cause a certain dude at a certain game company didn't come through in time which kinda sucks 'cause it would'a been neat an' I did th' graphics, but whatareyagonna do?

    • WEBMASTERS an' others: UPDATE YER LINKS! I'm only paid up through th' end of th' month on my old site, so it'll prob'ly be down an you'll be stuck without a way ta get here unless ya start rememberin' an' usin' my new URL (th' one yer lookin' at in yer browser right now). I kin see where people are comin' from in my hit tracker, an' only a few folks have changed th' link ta my site on their links page. Well time's runnin' out, that link'll be deader'n a doornail soon so GET UP TA DATE!!!

    • GA_Reaper wants folks ta know that he kin take orders fer any Outlaws type T-Shirts ya may want printed up. He's got his own... anyhow that's all over at his site.

  • 9/25

    • That wiley webmaster KaReFree will in fact have ta postpone his long-awaited return ta th' Outlaws world until sometime in January when he'll be back in town with a whole new look. Th' good news is that fer now ya kin look forward to an update in mid-December, an' ya kin check out his sneak peak preview page.

    • I'm pissed. Not jus' 'cause I'm tired an' cranky after game bug huntin' all day, but also 'cause while at th' job I finally managed ta check out this site in IE 4.0. At first I was pretty happy with how things looked, pretty much jus' like IE 3. Then I discovered that prob'ly half th' pages fer some reason feel like stretchin' out wayyy too wide under IE 4, I mean off th' edges of a 800 pixel wide screen. ;O

      What th' heck kinda crap is this?!? There's no freakin' reason fer th' pages ta do that. Netscape 3 an' IE 3 are both cool with this site, but IE 4 jus' goes wonky like that!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHH! #@(@#!

      Okay, okay sorry 'bout that. If anyone out there kin' tell me why th' heck this may be happenin' I'd really appreciate it. I can't hack it out on my own 'cause there's no way in hell I'm gonna install IE 4 on my system.

    • More good webmaster news (after my bitch-fit): Sling has taken over th' long dormant reins of th' #Outlaws_Players site -- note th' new URL. He's written a great, comprehensive new "Tactics" section that is worth a good read by everyone!

    • Apparently GA_Reaper has had a custom LJP posse T-shirt made for himself. Anyhow ya kin check that out on his site. Kinda scary stuff...

  • 9/24

    • D.E. sent me a new version of his "mDoom" map. I went ahead an' named this one "mdoom11" as in "Version 1.1". If ya missed th' news about this one a few days back, it's basically th' first map of th' classic Doom, converted to an Outlaws multiplayer map. Ahh, nostalgia!

    • Gee turns out ta be a new version kinda day. Cutter got out a new version (heh actually it was like 4 new versions but nevermind) of his map "Cariboo Town"; this one's Cariboo2. Has some various fixes, th' small hard ta find types that levelmakers lose sleep over.

    • An' finally, Kodia sent in a new version of his "Dagnabit" map. This one fixes a lil' prob thanks ta help from StanJr. Th' flip-side is that it only works if ya got a 3dfx card, thus I've named this version "Dagnabit3dfx".

  • 9/23

    • Well folks, updates fer th' next two weeks may be a lil' smaller than th' huge verbose blabberin' yer used to here. Why? Well, it's 'cause I got a lil' contract job as a tester fer a local game company. I ain't gonna say which, mebbe you guys kin try ta guess. ;)

      So yes, that means I get paid ta sit around an' play games all day. Is it fun? Well, when a game crashes constantly an' runs really jerky 'cause it isn't optimized an' there aren't any real baddies ta shoot, or th' ones there are don't work right yet, it ain't always that fun. NOT that it isn't fun, mind ya. An' should get more fun as th' game gets closer to completion -- either that or I'll be sick of it. Still it's kinda nice ta be able ta bitch right at th' game developers over their own intranet. ;D

      So that's what my days are gonna be spent doin' fer th' next two weeks. Ya kin still send me news an' stuff ta post, I jus' won't have time ta do my normal in-depth hard-hittin' research. Actually many people will prob'ly be relieved ta hear that. ;]

    • Oops! Yesterday I talked 'bout a "GDO_Marshall" but GDO webmaster _Darling reminded me that he's actually "COD_Marshall". Well jus' tie me up an' call me Nancy.

    • After playin' on it a bit I've added DrDeath2's Stormy Falls ta my fave level list. It's a damn nice map, reminds me most of Junction an' yet it's all its own thing. Try it out.

      Also had a I think 6-player hoe-down in th' excellent Bob's Home. Picture six Bob's pluggin' away at each other in a big mansion. Then throw in one naughty lil' Sanchez. Oh yeah, it was a whole lotta fun, 'specially since I whupped all over people. ;) Bob kicks booty!

    • Cutter sent me his latest map, Cariboo Town. A very authentic lookin' ol' minin' town or somethin', well modelled; there's even a theatre, check it out. Here's a shot of th' main drag. Very nice, an' doesn't slow down framerates too bad even when lookin' down th' whole town. Not quite sure how it'll play... I'm kinda concerned that th' high roofs an' buildings with one entrance may encourage camping, but I'll hafta playtest it when I get a chance. Heck, why don't YOU try it out an' lemme know how it goes?

    • Kodia is havin' trouble with his latest, Dagnabit. I noticed that while ya kin try ta play it in CTF an' KFC modes, th' level won't load unless ya select DM or Team. An' Kodia tells me it seems ta kick some players while others can play on it with no problem. He's lookin' fer help, so if ya know 'bout these things... umm... well fer now lemme know. I'll ask him if I kin give out his e-mail address.

  • 9/22

    • Lookin' fer some levels ta add ta yer Crappy Map collection? Well head on over ta th' GDO Outlaws Homepage where th' lovely an' talented _Darling has... whoops! Where th' heck did their site go? Hey now it's back an' it says "I just became available." Hey Darlin', I.. err... Whoa now it's down again, what th' HECK is goin' on over there?!? Well mebbe this'll all be sorted out by th' time ya read this. Anyhow she's posted three new maps there that pretty much blow chunks. This GDO Marshal guy seems ta be crankin' out a new map every day, unfortunately. He's gettin' better with LawMaker but he still makes some lame design decisions.

      Fer instance, in one of his latest, "Barn3D", you'll find a simple building (not a barn) in a large valley. Framerates are good, I was thinkin' it was an okay map. THEN I noticed th' hidden sniper nest looking out over th' whole level, with a well stocked gatling gun at hand to boot. Hooray, how fun. Fortunately Marshal has put his digitized face on a box within view of th' sniping spot so ya kin unload that gat on his grinnin' mug. ;p

      I'll stick these in th' map archive tomorrow.

    • Some of ya may have looked but not found me in Kali in th' past few days. Well, I've been doin' some things, but I confess I've also been playin' through th' ol' Blood demo, which is kinda fun an' mean as all get out. Well I'm almost done with it so I expect ta be hostin' a few games tonight, if all goes as planned. Now I jus' gotta find that last darn key...

  • 9/21

    • Gosh, I noticed on Voodoo Extreme that Creative Labs has announced that their Voodoo Banshee card will come out at th' end of th' month costin' only $99 after a mail-in rebate. Considerin' that it should run Outlaws slightly faster than a Voodoo2 and do great 2D to boot, this jus' may be my next upgrade... ;)

    • Tobacco-chewin' Kodia is close ta spittin' out a new level called "Dagnabbit". Here's a preview shot. Actually I dunno, he may've released this elsewhere but I'm gonna try ta get 'im ta tweak one lil' thing before I put it up fer download.

    • Th' Kali Outlaws server seems ta be down at th' moment --> CRUD!

  • 9/20

    • More from Raf 'bout British Telecom's new ISDN "Home Highway" service... sez Dicky's figgers weren't quite right. Well, I'm gettin' all confused, if yer innerested why dontcha jus' go check their site: www.homehighway.bt.com.

    • Sticky is makin' a new map called "Bermuda" that he sent me a beta version of ta hype for 'im. Well I guess I will since he's usin' an idea of mine fer a lil' part of it... sorta... actually he's pretty much turned it into his own thing which is a good thing if ya ask me. ;) Where was I.. oh let's look at some screenshots:
      A neat pavilion
      An outhouse and TNT corral (hey, don't ask ME)
      "trampoline" 1
      "trampoline" 2
      Th' last two shots there come from this neat area with a large, deep pit. You can chuck things down th' pit or jump down yerself. Now th' first time I did that jus' fer th' helluvvit I figgered I was gonna be a pancake. Imagine my surprise when I hit some kind of wet trampoline an' was suddenly thrown back up, out of th' well an' so high in th' air I could land on th' roof of a nearby building. Neat! Th' screenshots illustrate what happens if ya drop TNT down --> it bounces back up!

    • Martone from OGB Headquarters forked over a few recent maps he's gathered up. "Allright" is Chris Cambron's first map, an' it would be alright except fer a good deal of 3dfx texturing gaps and the inclusion of chickens an' civilian which lag games up. Still some innerestin' construction; I 'specially like th' bank.

      Then from "D.E." we get "mdoom", a conversion of th' first level from id's ol' masterpiece. Seems a bit drab in Outlaw's light dusty stucco, but th' geometry seems very accurate as far as I kin tell. Look familiar? There's one glitchy 3dfx area, but otherwise this should warm th' hearts of old Doom diehards. I dumped both of 'em in th' level page's Map Archive, or course.

    • Oh yeah, Raf also sent word that he's thrown some new features into th' already feature-packed Outlaws Editing Team site, like an improved message board an' a section fer tips from LawMaker stud-boy DeanWermer. If ya haven't been over there in a while why don'tcha go check it out.

  • 9/19

    • Hmm well Zeus an' Vader couldn't make it to th' lil' appointed rendezvous with Mad_Matt an' I, but fortunately Sir Sling showed up an' whupped us around at "Ten Paces" pretty good. Even though I got butchered like a hog, it's nice ta run inta pros like Sling now an' then ta be reminded jus' how real players do things. He knows all th' respawn points, all th' item placements an' he's got a definite plan fer th' map that keeps him from bein' ambushed an' allows him fast access ta all th' bestest weapons an' items. Not ta mention th' fact that he's a deadly shot with every weapon, can switch between em' perfectly on th' fly, never stops movin' an' jumpin', retreats to health kits when he's hurt an' jus' plain' kicks ass. MAN did I get beat down. ;) Thanks Sling!

      Reflectin' 'pon this painful lesson, I've been tryin' ta come up with tips ta help those who run into a similar situation: faced with an opponent who kin jus' whup yer bootie any time they want. Well, th' first step is ta acknowledge that ya have no chance of gettin' more kills than them. That bein' th' case, th' only way ta salvage th' situation is ta make a ton of excuses! Here are some handy tips I came up with; note that people will HATE yer guts fer this:

      1. Let THEM pick th' map an' host. That way when they beat ya, you kin always blame it on their "home field advantage".
      2. Pick a weaker character like Sanchez or Two Feathers. Then ya kin always blame yer loss on yer character disadvantage. WARNING: Real pros will see right through this an' beat ya at yer own game by matchin' you character for character.
      3. Blame EVERYTHING on lag. Fall off a cliff? Try: "Man, this lag is gettin' CrAzY now!"
      4. Pretend to lag out every once in a while, then rejoin th' game a few minutes later. This way yer kill number is reset an' hopefully they'll ferget jus' how few kills you really had.
      5. Pretend to receive phone calls or other distractions an' excuse yerself fer a few minutes. Wait a minute, then when they're not lookin' sneak up behind 'em an' blast 'em right in th' back! WARNING: This will really piss them off.
      6. Hide. They may find ya now an' then but it'll take time. This'll keep their kill number from goin' up fast.
      7. When they keep killin' you 'fore ya even see 'em, tell 'em ta "come out an' fight like a man!" Then hide an' ambush 'em when they come out.
      8. Accuse them of hackin' th' game ta give themselves an advantage. Don't listen to their angry defense, just repeat.
      9. When they use a gatling gun, sawed-off, vanishing cream or badge on ya, tell 'em you had declared those items off limits an' call 'em a dirty cheater. At first opportunity, use the item on them. If they complain say you were jus' settlin' th' score. If they retaliate in kind, call 'em a filthy cheat an' quit in triumph.
      10. Repeat the above steps until they quit in disgust, then declare victory by forfeit. If they ever want a rematch, tell 'em ya don't play with cheats.

      Sad as these tactics may sound I've encountered or heard reliable stories of people doin' almost all of 'em. Needless ta say people who use these tactics soon find themselves without any play mates. ;)

    • Image-slingin' Fallsdown has got all his Outlaws vacation shots back from th' developer an' posted fer our enjoyment on th' "Wit an' Wisdom" site right here. These are HILARIOUS, don't miss 'em!

    • Good ol' Brit Dicky sent me an informative post in response ta my wonderin' what th' UK dual modem service mentioned yesterday by Raf costs. I didn't ask permission, but Dicky's a self published webmaster like me which means he loves ta see his own words in print, so I'm SURE he won't mind if I jus' print his letter fer all ta see ;):

      Well u wondered how much that BT Home Highway thing costs so here are the approx figures..
       
      To convert an existing line to the 2 digital lines costs 160 ($220ish)
      To install new stand alone service 280 ($350ish)
      Quaterly line rental 70 ($95ish)

       
      Then of course ya gotta pay for every second that u r connected or making ya calls, which are charged at normal call rates (ie f**kin expensive) oh of course if ya wanna use both channels at the same time well thats 2 calls u gonna be charged for simultaneouosly...errr then of course ya gotta pay ya monthly fees to whatever ISP ya using although thats rarely more than 15.00/month ($23)
       
      There r various deals where u get a certain amount of free calls per quater...but its really nothing too great..
       
      So err as you can see BT r not doing anyone any favours here at all...and this home Highway crap is just another name for ISDN2 (a service which is charged by BT suspiciously closely to the home highway service)...most ISP's dont even support dual line connections yet anyway...so in reality most UK people would be better off getting a single line ISDN 1 connection....which is a lil cheaper....(but not much)
       
      Dont it just make ya wanna move to Blighty!!!

      Suuuuuuuuure it does Dicky, thanks fer th' info! One day those fellers 'cross th' pond will get DSL, then they'll all be happy an' stop brutalizing each other in vicious football riots.

    • Taco sends happy word that although he's been pretty busy he hopes ta have his 5-level single-player add-on done in th' next day or so! Woo-hoo! Let's keep our fingers crossed; in th' mean-time here's another shot from th' beta version ta tide ya over.

  • 9/18

    • Hey, this is cool! Fer th' last few days at least I've had th' same IP address: 209.180.214.221. It's innerestin' 'cause I asked US West if I'd have a static IP an' th' answer was "no": in fact th' system jus' "rents" an IP address for 4 hours at a time, an' renews it if I'm still online at th' end of that time. But even though I've been turnin' my computer off at night, I still have th' same IP th' next day! :) So what I'm gonna do fer now is ta stick up my current IP # to th' left of th' page here, underneath th' menu. See it? So if yer lookin' fer a multiplayer game, check there ta see if I'm hostin' one. Chances are I won't be, but ya never know...

    • New maps... but I'm gonna hold off stickin' em' in th' level page's map archive fer a day 'cause I want ya ta check th' sites they're on now.

      Moussey or _Darling has a couple new ones up at her ex-posse site, The GDO's Outlaws Homepage. Actually th' real reason ta go there right now is ta see a picture of th' lovely webmistress herself. As fer th' maps, I wasn't too fond of "Out West", but Picante's "Picanteville" is great! A large mexican villa is th' settin', nicely textured to show old brick underneath th' plaster walls. It's nice an' wide fer fightin' in, an' has some nice touches such as spiral staircases, a little interior courtyard and a lantern lighting up th' small underground storeroom. Fine fine stuff! Here's a couple'a screenshots: shot 1 | shot 2

      Jeez she jus' popped up another one: Zathoros' "Munitions Factory". Seems quite inspired by LEC's "Patter Repair"... sort of th' same idea. Here's a screenshot. I sure do wish Zath would bother ta add lighting to his maps though: that all-over full illumination gets a bit tiresome.

      DrDeath2 has taken a break from his singleplayer "Marshall Adventure" series to create a multiplayer map, "Stormy Falls". He really paid attention ta th' atmosphere here with a dark stormy night feeling complete with his own custom rain sound and a dramatic lightning effect! Didn't take a shot 'cause ya know how lightnin' never takes... Sorta hard ta evaluate this one before playin' it; kinda reminds me of junction with it's waterfall, pool, building, tunnels and loose layout. Haveta try this one out. You kin get it at DrDeath2's Outlaws Site.

    • Raf had a lil' news flash that might help out those laggy UK Outlaws:

      BT (British Telecom) have introduced a new system called 'Home Hiway'. It offers two 64kbps lines to be used on different computers or one to a computer and one to a telephone. There is a third option is too, you can use both lines as one and have a staggering 128kbps link to the internet, no more lag problems unless you have not got a modem that fast.

      Neat! Wonder how much it costs (in $US, I have no idea how much a British Pound is worth ;]). Oh an' he also corrected me on a caption I posted th' other day fer an underground bridge... shouldn'ta called it a "suspension bridge" 'cause it wasn't actually suspended. Heh. Dunno what that makes it... a dangly bridge?

    • Let's do another screenshot from Taco's upcomin' add-on, this time avoidin' th' controversial bridge: shot

  • 9/17

    • Man, I keep gettin' this urge ta download big files now that I got this DSL thingy. So I went an' got th' "Sin" demo -- 34 MB download took 'bout 9 minutes. :) Basically that was th' best part of Sin, fer me.

      Even th' installer sucked, not lettin' me browse my drives correctly to select an' install location, an' not givin' me any option on where to install Start menu shortcuts. Th' game itself seems ta have all th' goodies we've come to expect from th' Quake II engine: piss-poor framerates, dark environments, sloggy control, slooooooooooooow player movement, dull colors and sound and long load times. On top of that Sin piles on grindingly horrendous music, weak weapons, gratuitous violence, cleavage and testosterone induced conversation with highlights like "Lock and load!" Guess we know who their target audience is.

      Then we've got th' amusin' bugs. Bored, I tried ta blast a cowering swimsuit model-- err, bank clerk with my shotgun (boredom brings out th' worst in my, okay?). Well, th' shotgun doesn't shoot but I get nice lil' console messages "Buffer overrun on Blade" or somethin' like that. Basically I hadda quit th' program.

      Then there are th' blood splatters that float in open doorways. But I think my favorite was at th' end of th' lame helicopter shooting part at th' beginning. As th' chopper landed I held down th' fire key on th' mounted gatling gun and when th' view was supposed to switch to a third-person shot of me exiting th' craft, it did... but I still had th' gun in front of me somehow, so I got ta shoot myself in th' face. Now THAT'S entertainment!

    • There was a great moment in a game I hosted yesterday on th' map "Octagon" (which is off my fave level list fer a few things like no rifles, narrow doorjams an' an invisible snipin' spot) when dynamite-happy Grifter blew up 4 people at once, myself included I think. Mebbe it was five people... well anyhow th' screen was filled with "Grifter blew up..." messages, it was quite a sight. But th' capper was Grifty's speech that followed our curses and congratulation, which began "First, I'd like to thank God..." ;) Good one, Grifter!

    • Oh fer those of ya who like ta bitch an' moan ta me 'bout not havin' DSL, there's a form on th' US West site that ya kin fill out ta request that they get off their butts an' haul out DSL service in yer area. I'd be kinda surprised if they actually lissened ta this feedback, it's probably jus' intended ta pacify those who would otherwise spam them with angry e-mail demands, but heck it couldn't hurt an it'll prob'ly make ya feel better, so go give it a shot.

    • Ah yes we've come ta my favorite part, another Taco-beta add-on screenshot. Check out this fantastically illuminated suspension bridge spannin' a subterranean chasm! Ooooo...

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