| You are one of two twin teenage sisters. Your mother works at a lab, possibly for a theme park, and something goes wrong. There's a drunk weirdo in threatening video tapes, a carnivorous monkey who steals your hamburger, and mom nagging at you. So what do you do? You grab sis, hop in your flying ships, which look sort of like big gloves, and storm through the various sections of the amusement park interrupting weddings, slaying forest creatures, nuking floats and, in general, laying waste to everything in sight in a horizontally shooting manner. To aid you in your task of destruction you've got four food-themed weapons, swappable at the touch of a button, each of which can be powered up four levels or so. If some nefarious clown or stuffed animal happens to splatter you in a bloody fashion you come right back with the powerup levels you had except for the weapon you were using when killed, which loses its extra power levels. The ice cream beam gun is probably my favorite as it deals the most direct damage but the homing "jerry" beans are pretty darn good too, and if you get enough power levels by all means don't overlook the pie launcher or the potato guns. If you come up against some large clown-like monstrosity that isn't going down fast enough for your liking, just blast off a super charge at him--each weapon has a different super effect, such as invulnerable jello molds or ballistic wedding cakes. Unlimited instant continues ensure that you won't get hung up anywhere and the story seems to go along nicely, though I really have no idea what is happening. But when a giant train-riding gorilla is mocking you with a massive banana, or a huge whale is leaping out of the water to ram you, or squadrons of propeller-beany stuffed animals are swarming in at you, you're not gonna care about the plot. Fire! The stages are all quite varied (though in a theme-park way) with an incredible amount of detail in the backgrounds. The enemies never get repetitive and the bosses always hold a disturbing surprise. You'll never lack for firepower or targets and you'll never quite feel safe. This is shooter heaven. But the fun doesn't stop there! Harmful Park packs in three surprisingly robust minigames: a two-player Windjammers-like bat and ball game, a one or two player racing game with multiple stages, and a one to four (multitap!) player game like that old "Tank War" game, in high-resolution no less, and with landmines. Ace. |
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