posted by aerisdead (userid: 24.212.eG9s3M) on december 10, 2015 at 15:19:20 est.
how graphically do you talk about sex with your male friends? i feel like between men the conversation never really goes further than "we fucked" because we're all weirdly uncomfortable with our own and other men's sexuality in "public." like if you hear about the things another man did with his dick you'll catch gay (this interpretation is reductive.) so sometimes i want to talk about sex, but i don't want to introduce it to the conversation among men in case it makes the other man/men uncomfortable? or in case it gets discussed in a gross sexist way! being a man is weird
n/t
followups:
i would say it's mostly a question of respecting my wife's privacy? i'm not uncomfortable talking, or hearing about a friend's sex life (man or woman), but when i've been with the same person for a decade and a half, it's pretty obvious who i'm talking about, and given that my friends know tara makes it feel weird to implicitly divulge stuff about what she's into to people she's maybe no entirely comfortable sharing it with. (n/t) (popasmear) (15:28:38 12/10/15 est)
not at all, because thinking about sex is pretty gross for me in any capacity if i consider it for more than a few seconds. that said, because i find it all pretty gross, i am not *more* grossed out when someone wants to talk about specific things. well, that's not totally true, because once a friend friend was telling me about how much she enjoyed getting dominated by this bro that had been sending her dick picks, but that's a different kind of grossed out. also i feel like bros talk about specific sex stuff kind of a lot. so like, i don't want to talk about sex myself, but if someone else does it doesn't bother or upset me. (n/t) (exodus) (17:30:00 12/10/15 est)
i talk about sex and sexuality quite a bit but it's rarely ever super specific. if someone asks what i'm into i'm pretty comfortable with divulging it in a sort of generic way, for instance "i've always been into..." instead of "vani and i..." because then i feel like i'm breaking into something personal between us as opposed to just stating my general preferences. lately i've become a bit more open about talking about more specific things. i have two very close friends i've known for a long time and they have a somewhat open relationship/swing. not like they are out at the clubs every night picking people up but it is something they do together from time to time. it's real easy to sit around while we're hanging out with them and discuss some of that stuff. it's rarely very graphic and generally focuses on the more humorous mishaps that can happen but because they are very open and comfortable it becomes easier for us. that's really the only outlet where things get discussed in any sort of real detail. (n/t) (twelvest) (21:45:21 12/11/15 est)
you know the first time i was on this forum, i hadn't even been with a girl before. it's like i grew up in this place. i don't talk to my male friends about it except for one married childhood buddy who sometimes complained to me about how marriage was not what it was cracked up to be and he didn't "get enough". he's now getting it on a regular basis as they are trying for their first kid. i will talk graphically about it to female friends however, it seems more natural and they laugh along with me and there's always the hint of sexual tension which is fun. (n/t) (comic-kaze) (16:31:11 02/16/16 est)
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