i would say it's mostly a question of respecting my wife's privacy? i'm not uncomfortable talking, or hearing about a friend's sex life (man or woman), but when i've been with the same person for a decade and a half, it's pretty obvious who i'm talking about, and given that my friends know tara makes it feel weird to implicitly divulge stuff about what she's into to people she's maybe no entirely comfortable sharing it with.

404? haha! your soul now belongs to us.

top of thread | post followup | to the main board

posted by popasmear (userid: 66.171.Myh2C2) on december 10, 2015 at 15:28:38 est in reply to how graphically do you talk about sex with your male friends? i feel like between men the conversation never really goes further than "we fucked" because we're all weirdly uncomfortable with our own and other men's sexuality in "public." like if you hear about the things another man did with his dick you'll catch gay (this interpretation is reductive.) so sometimes i want to talk about sex, but i don't want to introduce it to the conversation among men in case it makes the other man/men uncomfortable? or in case it gets discussed in a gross sexist way! being a man is weird (n/t) from aerisdead.

i would say it's mostly a question of respecting my wife's privacy? i'm not uncomfortable talking, or hearing about a friend's sex life (man or woman), but when i've been with the same person for a decade and a half, it's pretty obvious who i'm talking about, and given that my friends know tara makes it feel weird to implicitly divulge stuff about what she's into to people she's maybe no entirely comfortable sharing it with.

n/t

followups:

interesting point. i do agree that you're essentially talking about something shared with someone else without their input, and it made me think about confidants... in some respect sharing information about your sexy partner is a bit like sharing nude pix of them (on a sliding scale) which i think is so disgusting (and thankfully, increasingly illegal). but in other ways, i feel like lack of openness about sex is so problematic. i think my question is maybe more like "are you confident to talk about sex things that happen, and receive advice/support* from peers" if you felt it was important to do that. i don't think i have been, and i was wondering if that was unusual, i wanted to know that when i made (recently) a blanket statement that men are largely uncomfortable talking about sex in a real way if i was totally off-base. (aerisdead) (19:04:56 12/10/15 est)

i do think having a person or some people who you're comfortable talking to about stuff is probably good? people are super awkward about sex, and i think it's probably hard to get a sense of how normal all the stuff one assumes is weird actually is. also, laughing about this stuff is probably good. have you ever come at an expected time, perhaps landing somewhere entirely unintended? i sure have. (n/t) (popasmear) (00:01:39 12/11/15 est)

oh yeah, that stuff likes to go all sorts of places (n/t) (aerisdead) (22:39:35 12/11/15 est)

never, i am like robin hood (n/t) (exodus) (18:43:05 12/15/15 est)

post followup

top of thread | to the main board